we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I understand Curling. That high.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
