i already hear my dad disowning me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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