you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
