I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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