you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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