You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize