she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I FOUND THE LEGS
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
