Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
