oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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