I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize