So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
