I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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