i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
