doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
