lets start a swedish sibling band together
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
