last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
