all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
