Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
