oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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