Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize