Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You're a waste of cheezeits
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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