I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
