id be glad to
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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