And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
