Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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