Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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