when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ketchup is God's man juice
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
