That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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