Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
