Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
