Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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