please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
