Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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