there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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