I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
