when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
