Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
