And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
