Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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