im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
