I am in a vortex of obligation.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
only if we run a train.
done.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
