How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
