you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So squirting runs in the family.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
