You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
