I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
