Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
