Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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