We're facebook friends in real life
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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