Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
