He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
