Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
