What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
