i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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