nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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