just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
