Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
