My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
