I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
