Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
