i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
