can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
