my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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