dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We need a shit load of segways right now
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
