Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
