I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i've created a new STD.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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