If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize