operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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