new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
