Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
