rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
