I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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