Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize