he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Did I show you my penis last night?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
