Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
