ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize