Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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