sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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