put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
