So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
