You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
