I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
